it's father's day..................I know some fathers out there that don't act like fathers, step ya game up. Because there are fathers up there (heaven) that wish they could still be the fathers they used to be. I miss papi. every day.

below is a little poem i wrote a while ago, about my father and how i live on my own in this apartment with lots of material and only because he is no longer here, but i would give it all away just for one more day to be with him.

apt.33

If you were to offer me a position to be homeless for the rest of my life
I would take it.
Because that would be better then any day suffocating in this vast empty but oh so full apartment
more like full of memories that didn't even occur in this place,
just a whole bunch of things taking up space.
He would have been here instead of all this stuff.
He would have made me smile every day like he used to.
He would have taken his words and changed my life like he did every day until I was 11.
I sometimes wonder if he's looking down on me
and think…..
is he proud of me?
is he dissapointed?
is he mad?
is he happy?
Well it doesn’t even matter cause I'm looking up at him
more like looking highest at HIM with a minor dissapointment,
at who you ask?
at God for letting me down.
Not really letting me down but leaving me down here to remember that he isn't really there anymore.
They say that is would be better if everyone were blind
because then they could truly see the way things are with their heart and mind.
I wouldn't mind being blind because maybe then i would just imagine he was there,
I would imagine that he is smiling at me and be sure of it
because my heart would feel the pinch from his dimples.
I miss him,
every day.
But the way I see it is that I don't see it at all
all i see is his smile with my blind memory sinking into my heart
until the day i see the true light with HIS heart and mind.

blessings!