So a few days a go a plane crashed into the Hudson River and on November 12, 2001 a place had crashed in far rockaway, queens, which is pure water put for some reason the plane crashed on land and everyone that was on that plane died including my best friend and the best man i will ever know, my father. It' crazy how things go, the plane that ended up in the hudson river was smaller then the plane that crashed in far rockaway and no one died. Not one person drowned or anything like that.
My father died on November 11, 2001 and along with him, 265 died that day because of.....I really don't have a good reason for that. And on January 3rd, 2009 I decided I was going to begin to believe that EVERYTHING happens for a reason, but I really don't know what to think or believe anymore because WHY THE FUCK DID THAT HAVE TO HAPPEN? Like I'm glad all those ppl that crashed into the hudson river didn't die but what about others, what about us, what about everyone else. What about those people in Gaza, are they getting a second chance? Do they have reasons to believe that that is happening for a reason? I don't think so life is full of twist and turns. I just don't know what to believe because was the reason that my dad died that day was for me to have a horrible teenage years, go to a whack college, recieve a lot of money when i turn 18, transfer to another school, move out and live on my own...cause that's all this country or world wants to throw at me for growing up without a father. They want to throw pity, money, and faces of judgement but I won't take it. All I will take is nothing at all, I will only give because I know that's what my dad always did and would still be doing. Not give cash, not give presents, but give the wisdom of life, give the beauty of love to others, the chance to love life and live it just because you are in it yourself. I admire my father, even though I only knew him for 11 years his memory is with me always, even when i'm doing something wrong, I know it but i know that no matter he understand cause that's just the kind of guy he was.
I think we all wonder what the people that are looking down at us think....are they dissapointed? Happy? Proud? Mad? Suprised? things like that.....I just hope every day that my father is very proud of me because when it comes to my decisions I always think about what he would do in the situation or what he would tell me. I miss him every day, it doesn't show in my face, in my eyes, in my smile, but i do i miss him every minute of every day and if i were asked to give up this apartment, all this money, go to a community college, not travel and buy a whole bunch of clothes, I would do it, even if I only get to see him for one more day of my ilfe.
People take for granted their parents, I don't care what kind of parent you have, as long as they have showed you love and support always and have screamed at you other times they love you regardless. Take advantage of them while their here, you know why I say this because I only have my mother left and I try my best to see that beautiful women every day no matter or atleast have a conversation with her on the phone because I know my life would totally flip to a negative side if she ever died, atleast anytime soon, I'm just not ready for that on an emotional level.
Like I always said, I can always count on my soul-mate/best-friend/ice-cream/quevin, Kevin, we was chyllen last night. Why do we understand each other so well lol but I wouldn't have it any other way.
LIstening to "Somewhere over the rainbow" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole...seriously the only song in the world that relaxes me when I feel like this world is shitless.
Peace, love, and appreciation ya'll!!!!
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